How to Rescue a Goat While Running/Biking



You would think that going for a run is boring.  But I disagree.  Not only do I rescue turtle from certin death, I am often called upon to rescue goats.  Seriously, I’ve rescued four this year.

My favorite road to run is dripping gorgeous.  The trees reach high and touch in a dance high above my head.  After a gentle turn I pass a field with a handful of goats.

Now I assure you, 8 inch square mesh is a perfectly wonderful choice for fencing.  It works especially well for horses, unlike barbed wire which can cause nasty lacerations when they run into it. 

But is isn’t the best choice for goats with horns.  See, it doesn’t matter if you have them in a lush field over-run with alphalpha, they will always see the grass/flowers/vines/trees/weeds/cigarette butts on the other side, and it/they will always be greener. The goat will eventually put it’s head through the 8 inch square in the fence and its little tiny brain won’t let it figure out how to get it back out.

So, if you are running down a road (or biking) and you hear the cries of a dying woman coming from a section of fence along the side of the road, you should stop to help.  Here’s how you do it.

Quietly walk up to the goat, talk to it (tell him about your childhood).  Grab the horns firmly with your dominant hand and the bottom of the chin with your other hand.  Pull the goat toward you, lifting up on the chin.  As the goat fights and screams, wrestle the horns and head so they are tilted diagonally.  Get the tips of the horns so they are both headed out the same square at the same time.  Don’t let go until this happens.  Once it does, the goat will pull himself out and be free.

Look into his eyes, see that look?  It means “Thank You!” in goat language.  If it’s a male, it probably means, ‘your hot and I would like to be the father of your kids’.


4 thoughts on “How to Rescue a Goat While Running/Biking

      • lol…and don’t forget those ants! 😉

        Actually, my cut-off is snails. I don’t know why..I feel sorry for the little guys! They edge out of the path in the early morning dew, all to be squashed by a bike tire or foot! Save the snails! 🙂

      • Yeah, it’s overwhelming to think about all the saving that needs to take place out there. I need to take a nap just thinking about it. Save the Snails!

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