“Running” to the bathroom: Advice for the LADIES (only*)…Beyond Kegels *(seriously guys, leave now)

The first time I heard of vaginal weights I was listening to Howard Stern on the radio, he was interviewing this guy who was complaining because he had divorced his wife a year ago and she started using vaginal weights soon after. She came back home just long enough to shag him once and show him what he was missing. At that point I was in my early twenties, was newly married and had no kids. I assumed that vaginal weights were some sort of dirty sex toy. 

Now fast forward 15 years. I am older, (almost 40) wiser, (I know there is no such thing as a dirty sex toy!) I have kids, (two to be precise) and I am a #runner. I hang out with ladies who confess to me that they plan their run routes according to available pee stops. I know women who examine race routes, studying where every port-o-poty is to determine if they can in fact finish the race without peeing themselves. Some ladies I know will only run at the gym on a track that is within just yards of the nearest restroom.

Not me, I’m just fine when I run…as long as I don’t stop. I can run ten miles and never have to worry about losing control, it’s when I stop briefly to let my dog sniff a mailbox that the floodgates suddenly open and I find myself bent over, clamping my crossed legs shut while yelling at myself for being an incontinent fool.

As women runners, we have two problems: we are women, and we are runners. Most women have had children and this drastically affects the muscles that control our bladder (pelvic muscles). The pressure of carrying a child weakens the pelvic muscles and seems to weaken the sphincter muscle which keeps the urethra (urine tube) closed. Even if you haven’t had kids, eventually you may have problems just because you have gone through menopause, which also seems to weaken the pelvic muscles.

But above all, as runners, we are continually pounding those same muscles, weakening them. Imagine yourself running and unless you are always squeezing your muscles, like you are actively trying not to pee, then your pelvic muscles are bouncing up and down freely like a huge bungee cord stretched loosely between to people. They stretch out and loosening more and more over time. Sadly, because we are runners, we are adding to the problem.

I’m sure you’ve tried Kegels; you know, the exercises where you stop your pee mid-stream repeatedly in an attempt to strengthen your pelvic muscles. The problem is, you have to remember to do them all the time in order to see any improvement. And if you take a break for a few days, you are back to square one.

Enter the vaginal weight. I can’t recall how I discovered these little things but I have to tell you that every day that has passed without me telling you all about them is a day I have felt guilty. I feel like I’ve been keeping a secret from a close friend…a secret that will make you stop peeing yourself. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.

Vaginal weights usually come in sets, mine came in a set of six weights, each progressively heavier. You first figure out which weight is a good starting point for you. You do this by inserting the lightest, see if you can walk around without losing it, (i’m sorry, you just have to bear with me here) you should do this while wearing underwear because these things could break tile if dropped on it correctly. Once you find a weight you can’t hold, you use the weight that is one step lighter. This weight should be used for 15 minutes twice a day until you have no problem holding it. Then you start using the next heaviest weight the same way until finally you can hold the heaviest weight for 15 minutes twice a day. At that point you can go to once a day or a couple times a week to maintain pelvic muscle fitness.

I know this seems like a huge dedication but it really isn’t as bad as it sounds. If you make it a habit of using them in the morning while showering and getting ready it’s a perfect addition to your morning and evening ritual. You will be surprised how quickly you will advance through the weights, possibly in just a week or two. I did. And the best part? They really do work, and they work quickly.

A couple side notes: I noticed that the time of the month (your hormones) affect your pelvic muscle strength. Don’t get discouraged if you find yourself having to use lighter weights sometimes.

For added strength training and benefits, try walking up and down stairs while using them or doing light exercises. 

And finally, there is an added benefit that I didn’t mention but you’ve probably already figured out: they improve your sex life. If your husband throws a fuss about you spending a little cash on MORE exercise equipment, just tell him the truth: they aren’t weights, they are dirty little sex toys! He will get right on board.

Here is a link to Amazon, these are the weights that I bought. (I am now an affiliate on the suggestions of blog readers, hope you are not upset). I hope you have the same benefits. Please post in the comments if you are brave enough. And guys, if you read this whole thing I hope you have a little more respect for us ladies and all we go through!

#Running #women #exercise #incontinence #peeing